King David says in Psalm 139:7–8 (NIV), “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.” Often, with some so much going on in our lives, we can sadly feel that God has drifted far from us. However, is it God that has turn His back on us? Or rather, us who have turns our backs on Him? As cliché as it sounds, it is quite true but for some reason we tend to flip it around in our minds and think that it is God Who has turned on us. Why though? Maybe simply it is lack of faith; lack of trust. Which ultimately comes from our pride, ego, and arrogance. Even in our repentance.
St. John Climacus said, “To repent is not to look downwards at my own shortcomings, but upwards at God’s love, it is not to look backwards with self-reproach but forward with trustfulness, it is to see not what I have failed to be, but what by the grace of Christ I might yet become.”
We need to let go of our selfishness to have a meaningful relationship with Him and with the Body of Christ. When we continually are so ever self-absorbed with ourselves, we will never be able to live truly in the image and likeness of Christ. St. John Chrysostom says in a homily on Philippians, “Selfishness is the cause of all sorts of evils. From it come strife and rivalry. From these come jealousy and contentiousness. Out of this that love grows cool when we are in love with human glory.” May we love the Lord our God with all our being. May we love Him with all what it means to be truly human.